Who are you? Have you ever really gotten to know yourself?
If you have been a “people pleaser” or “love addict”, like me, you have seen that we spend a lot of time thinking about others, but not even a fraction of that time thinking about ourselves. Yet, as you will note over and over again in conversations about healthy love, a person cannot fully appreciate others if they don’t know, love and appreciate themselves.
So how does one go about “knowing thyself”? I recommend the following four approaches to finding out what really makes you tick.
1. What is your Intelligence? Although there are 70 different ways to measure intelligence, some theories are more popular and useful than others. Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligence makes knowing yourself easy, with just eight types of intelligence. Teachers like myself use this theory in the classroom to show students that everyone is smart in different ways. Take one of these tests yourself (Google Multiple Intelligence test) to see what your strength may be.
2. What is your personality like? Do you moderate or abstain? Rebel or Questioner? Answer these very unique questions by happiness and habits expert Gretchen Rubin on the World of Psychology.
3. Do you hate yourself? Interrupt the “trance of unworthiness” by identifying where it is that you are really rough on you. The negative self-talk may occur more than you think. As you use these questions, you will uncover different areas of your life where you may be considering yourself less-than. The questions are originally from Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and made into list format by Morgan Thomas. Visit https://mmorganthomas.wordpress.com/2014/02/17/37/
4. What are your top 5 values? According to Natasha Lindor, life coach, values are what should drive your choice of job, leisure activity, relationships, and lifestyle. So how can you excavate what is really important to you? Google “values”. Look at the top entry. There is a list of 100 value words. From this list, circle/note the top ten that are most important to you. Then narrow those down to the five most important values.
And there you have four ways to really getting to know yourself. This article is short, but your work will be detailed. Becoming clear on who you are means that you can now make better decisions that will bring yourself more happiness. I can testify that doing these exercises has helped me move from codependent victim of abuse to strong happy independent woman. I hope it does the same for you.